


Unpalatable

by stardustandreams



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Titans, Armin can't bake, Established Relationship, M/M, They're all dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandreams/pseuds/stardustandreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And so Jean becomes Armin’s most ardent supporter, and is most enthusiastic about how incontrovertibly proud he is, and how indubitably divine the cookies are, and everyone else desperately tries to warn him to stop, shut up, before it is too late.</p>
<p>Alas, February rolls around, and they fail to convey the crucial message. Hapless Jean has to face the repercussions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unpalatable

Armin can’t bake. He is highly intelligent, adorable, fascinating, hard-working, resilient, and multi-talented but- baking was never exactly his _forte_. In fact, he had gained quite the reputation for his poisonous brownies and toxic cupcakes, and everyone knew that the only way to avoid possible diarrhea and certain death was to _not consume any food prepared by the blonde._  

This evasion was never a challenging feat to accomplish. Armin was often lost in his books, his thoughts, school work or some project or other. Domesticity was never one of his interests, and so Home Economics was the only true danger zone. 

But then, ever the overachiever, Armin decides he’s sick of failing the subject and starts working his ass off to ace it. 

For weeks, he tirelessly bakes, and bakes, and arrives at the staff room punctually each morning with a smile and a Tupperware of whatever new recipe he’s _sure_ he got right. Mr Shadis- the home economics teacher- gets so frustrated, he passes him.

 But that only ignites his  _new-found passion_ for culinary art.

 Mikasa and Eren discuss the issue and agree that knowing Armin- as they do- he wasn’t going to be satisfied until he obtained an A. They decide that the best way to tackle this would be to give him a little _assistance_. So when he cracks out his grandfather’s old cookbook, and attempts to master the “Famous Arlert Cookie” recipe, they swap his inedible rocks for Eren’s mom’s renowned chocolate chip cookies.

 Armin tops the class.

 Eren and Mikasa’s “aid” becomes a tightly guarded secret within the gang- one that spread like wildfire, then was never spoken of again- for fear that Armin would find out.

 Unfortunately, attached to his boyfriend’s hip as Jean seemed to be these days, the _deadly secret_ didn’t quite reach him. And so he becomes Armin’s most ardent supporter, and is most enthusiastic about how incontrovertibly _proud_ he is, and how indubitably _divine_ the cookies are, and everyone else desperately tries to warn him to stop, shut up, before it is too late.

Alas, February rolls around, and they fail to convey the crucial message. It is a highly sensitive issue, and Eren  _insisted_ that even texting him the details would be too dangerous (and although the others initially suspected possible malicious intentions (taking into consideration their childish rivalry), they decided not to push the issue- they were all very fond of Armin and feared the sheer devastation he would experience, should he find out that he was still- despite his best attempts- a failure of a chef.  _“Now that he’s tasted success, it would be too cruel to take it away.”_ Eren had explained, gravely- somewhat dramatically- and they’d all nodded their heads in solemn agreement.)

Valentines day approaches, and Armin is suddenly struck with a _brilliant_ idea. He decides to bake his boyfriend some special homemade, Arlert  specialty cookies. When Jean is confronted by a beaming Armin on Doomsday, the rest of the gang gather behind Armin’s back, to signal frantically that he was _not_ to eat the hardened lump that was supposed to pass off for a heart.

Jean is confused momentarily. Armin’s cookies were great! They tasted just like the ones Mrs Jaeger always made for them when they-

Jean feels like he’s been crushed by a ton of bricks.

The truest tragedy, he thinks, is in the earnest shimmery blue of Armin’s eyes. Jean swallows guiltily; the blonde’s initial dizzy excitement starts to subside, and he finally notices his boyfriend’s hesitation.

The tension is palpable.

But just as Armin’s expression starts to fall, Jean hesitates no more. In one fluid motion, he grabs the cookie, and stuffs the entire damned thing into his mouth.

It’s rancid, and probably under-cooked. He’s already anticipating his banishment to the toilet for the next few days. The cookie is too hard, too bland, a little sour- terrible, really.

But Jean swallows, and offers his boyfriend a weak smile.

The others stand, mouths agape with utter shock; a mixture of undiluted horror and pity written across their faces.

He already feels like throwing up. 

But Armin’s hopeful smile is back, and his eyes are sparkling with excitement again, and Jean decides it’s completely worth it. 

“Do you like it?” Armin asks, somewhat sanguinely, and the ‘ _absolutely’_ is already forming on the tip of Jean’s tongue, but he catches himself. 

“Armin…” He tugs him closer, looks straight into his ocean eyes. “It tasted like _shit_.” And before Armin can react, he presses a chaste kiss to his lips, pulls back and breathes into his ear, “But I guess that just means I have to teach you, right?”

Armin is blushing, gaping,  _slowly understanding the situation_ . He starts to turn to glare at Mikasa and Eren- who are already shrinking behind Reiner- but Jean holds him firmly in his arms, and kisses him fervidly.

“Get a room!” Eren yells, and the rest follow with a chorus of gagging noises.

But the lovers don’t care. Their eyes flutter open and a silent promise for revenge passes between them.

For now, however, they just indulge in their passion. After all, there’s a lot to celebrate- what with Jean just passing what could arguably be the greatest test of love.


End file.
